by Lars Swensen

Gunner Johnson, co-owner of The Bunyan, is hosting the third annual “Walk for Beer” fundraiser this Saturday. “Why not walk for something you love?” said Gunner. “It seems like people are always walking for sad things like a cure for scurvy or phlebitis. I think if you have to walk, it should be for a happy thing. Beer makes you happy.” Those who are interested, for every mile you walk, you will receive 10% off on a beer at The Bunyan, maximum 30% off. Tips not included. It’s uncertain where the proceeds will go.

Kanute Gunderson will be opening a new wing to his Lutheran Hall of Fame next Thursday and he will be dedicating it to himself. “I’m paying for it. I might as well dedicate it to myself,” Kanute was heard saying to a woman. Kanute is adding a new Herring and Wafer Bar to the Hall of Fame. It will be located just down the hall from the Chapel of Good Intentions.

It was opening day for fishing season on Saturday and there was still ice on Bunyan Bay. “I tried to put my dock up on opening day and I froze my yack,” exclaimed Ole Olson. “It was really cold so I decided to ride my yack into the water to put up the dock. I loved my yack. I called him ‘Bruce,’ Ole lamented. “He was like a son to me. If I would have known my yack was gonna freeze, I would have left him in the barn. I’ll just have to buy another yack on Craig’s List.”

A family gathering at the Nordlunds ended in a food fight this past Friday night. It was unclear who started the food fight, but it’s suspected that Hank Nordlund was involved. “We were having Lutefisk again,” stated Hank. “I hate Lutefisk. It tastes like burning tires.” Apparently, when Grampa Louie challenged Hank on his taste for the delicate cod fish baked in lye, that’s when the first chunk literally hit the fan. At that point it was Katy bar the door when the entire plate of Lutefisk was hurled at Grampa Louie. “I never liked Hank,” confessed Louie. “He’s a horrible son in law. All he does all day is watch Duck Dynasty. As far as Lutefisk goes, it tastes like crap. But it’s good.”

Bernice Lundstrom will be performing her one woman show titled, “I Dreamed a Dream, Then I Forgot It.” Bernice will be performing songs by world famous folk singer, Sven Yorgensen at the Bunyan Bay VFW Club on Memorial Day. Bernice, a former Miss Walleye Queen Winner and darling of Bunyan Bay, will be making her VFW debut on her way to a singing career. “I tried out for American Idol, but they went with a stripper from Duluth,” Bernice told us. “I just need a break and it could come from the VFW.” Let’s hope Bernice will dream a dream and this time it will be remembered.