By Lars Swensen

It’s June in Bunyan Bay, the fish are biting, and the pontoon boats are on the lake. Just don’t go swimming yet, cause the water is freezing. Speaking of pontoon boats, if you’re one of the few who haven’t heard the mishap on the lake this past weekend, Harold Streelund had quite a party on his boat. Harold, his wife, Ruth, and two other couples who shall remain nameless, since they’re still in jail, brought two cases of Leinenkugel’s Canoe Paddler on the boat, and found themselves up a creek without a paddle. Witnesses on shore say they saw the couples “sword fighting with their fishing poles” before crashing into Hansen’s dock, destroying it and sinking the boat. When Sheriff Halvorsen showed up, he reported that three of the partiers were “running around in their birthday suits.” Thankfully, no one was hurt. We would just like to ask Jimmy Anderson to stop posting photos of the naked ladies on his Facebook page.