by Lars Swensen

The annual Christmas Tree Lighting was held this past Saturday with only one little glitch. Ninety-four year old Mayor Swensen (no relation), thought the tree was powered by candles and tried to light it on fire. We reminded him that we’ve been using electric Christmas lights since 1942, to which he replied, “Electric?” Will someone please run against him.

The Bunyan Bay Carolers entertained us with popular Christmas songs including, “Grandma Cut the Christmas Cheese,” “Uncle Bob, the Christmas Sponge,” “It’s a Two Fruitcake Christmas,” “All I want For Christmas is the New Teller at the Bank,” and “No More Lutefisk For You.”

In other news, the missing hunter was found. Carl Sagerstrom went missing three days ago from a hunting trip up north. He was recently found at work, the last place anyone thought he would be.

The crime of the century was solved when the leader of a counterfeit bingo card operation was arrested during a sting at the Bunyan Bay Senior Center. Helen Jensen, a.k.a. “Dobber,” was arrested on three counts of minor fraud and taken to the Bunyan Bay police station at the same time they were having their Christmas party. After 20 minutes and three Hot Toddies, they released her on grounds that she’s old. Plus, she never won anything with her counterfeit bingo cards.

Merry Christmas to everyone in Bunyan Bay!